


Cough Medicine is Not Your Friend

by yastaghr



Series: Scribbling is its own Language - Oneshots [11]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - PTAtale (Undertale), Gen, Undertale Monsters on the Surface
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 05:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17318957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yastaghr/pseuds/yastaghr
Summary: Papyrus against Linda. Papyrus has no chill.





	Cough Medicine is Not Your Friend

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in extreme pain, so it might be weird. Enjoy!

Papyrus was never late. It was a constant in his life. He might be early by several hours or perfectly on time, but he was never late. The PTA meeting was set to start at 7:00pm, just like always. Papyrus was late.

 

He pulled into the school’s parking lot at 7:39pm. The red convertible coasted to a gentle stop. Then Papyrus sat there, his head resting on the top of the steering wheel, for another three minutes. He coughed. Then he dragged himself upright, sniffed, and opened the driver’s side door. He forced himself to stand up. He closed the door to the car very gently. Then he steeled himself, spun, and fast-walked into the school.

 

He waved at the guards as he passed through the checkpoint at the front door.  It was still sad to him that armed security guards were needed at any school. He wondered idly if they’d ever successfully stopped a shooting from happening. He doubted it. 

 

He strode down the hallway to the gymnasium and slipped in the doors quietly. Everyone turned to face him, most of them scowling. He put on as good of a smile as he could manage and hurried to his seat. Helen, standing at the head of the room, sniffed and turned back to the portable whiteboard. Papyrus’ soul sank when he saw the words on it. Linda was trying to get vaccines made optional again. When would she ever stop?

 

“As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted,” Linda Screeched, “None of our children should be forced to go through such a traumatic experience, especially since vaccines are well known to cause Autism in children!”

 

Papyrus sighed. He and the others had tried everything to convince Linda To stop bringing up this stupidity. It never worked. Maybe something more direct would work?

 

He stood up, shocking Linda Into silence. He walked up to the front of the room, stole the whiteboard marker from Helen’s limp hand, and erased the entire board with one swipe. Then he wrote down, in large, friendly letters:

 

STUPIDITY WON’T VACCINATE YOU AGAINST DEATH.

 

Papyrus then turned around, looked Linda Straight in the eye, and said, “Linda, your inedible lemon squares are more likely to give your child Autism than vaccines are, and they’re probably going to give them cancer, too. But if you’d really rather have a dead kid than one with Autism, I’m sure the police down at the station would be happy to learn they can finally arrest you for a crime worse than a DUI and overdue parking tickets. And I’m sure your kids would be a thousand times happier living with a family who actually cared about their well being instead of their fragile ego.”

 

He took a deep breath, pulled his scarf over his mouth, and began to cough. Everyone waited in stunned silence while he gasped for air. When he finally had some he muttered, “And I thought that stupid cough syrup would actually work.”


End file.
